Monday, December 28, 2009


1. finding each other in the westfield mall in sf
2. nutella milkshake
a. to go
b. sipping on a bed in the calvin klein section of macy's
3. elevator in the parking structure
4. walking in the rain
a. steering me
b. tee-pee hood
5. running through the rain, hurdling over a hedge and into making of
a. grandma's dead
b. magic
c. throwing knives
d. ninja stars
6. bowling
a. fat tire
b. losing by exactly half
c. being indie in bowling shoes
7. ikea
a. making fun of 500 days of summer
b. making fun of danish names
c. billy
d. the discovery and retrieving of andy (the shelf)
e. arm holding
f. four wheel drive
8. home
a. marty (or however you say it in russian)
b. the cake
c. the cloud
9. cheesecake factory
a. awkward server
b. attempting to get a drink and failing
c. not eating much or taking it to go
10. ice skating
a. peeing with skates on
b. sitting on a wet bench
c. hugs
d. first kiss
e. taking our goofiness way too seriously and laughing pretty hard
f. taylor swift, kelly clarkson, pet shop boys
g. wet butts
h. sour patch
i. drying by the fire in a squat position
11. movie on the cloud
a. butterfly effect
i. downloading
ii. time spent while downloading
b. nuzzle
c. good talk
d. nuzzle nuzzle nuzzle
e. side sleepers
f. japanese proverb, "a nail that sticks out must be hammered down" and laughter ensuing
12. 1:30pm
a. cloud all day
b. blind(s)
c. nuzzle
d. "do i look pale....?"
13. neal's
a. eggs benedict, hashbrowns, water
b. tobasco sauce predicament
c. no menus needed
d. tipping
14. starbuck's
a. strawberry banana... "that" guy
b. jew friend
15. CVS
a. marveling at ocd technology
b. alvin and the chipmunks
16. Driving home
a. stars
b. stars
c. beating the GMC
e. nixon glasses
17. Cloud and Billy
a. bottom and middle shelf
b. getting a little carried away with the hammer
c. A.D.D. and Romance
d. pj's in bed
e. iSqueeze
f. silver sun pick ups ?
18. Round table
a. crazy ass asian man in parking garage
b. beer! combo!
c. feliz navidad
d. crusts with ranch
e. lite ranch
19. Sherlock Holmes
a. buzzed in line
b. spending like 5 hours at the movie theatre
c. princess and the frog
i. dancing
ii. standing nuzzles
iii. children everywhere
iv. racism!
d. restless snuggles
e. not leaving right away
20. Driving
a. dancing
b. akon
c. kanye
d. laughing
e. memory lawn
21. In N Out
a. people everywhere
b. spread and fries
c. athena
22. :)
a. sleeepy
b. not
c. "ditto"

Friday, December 25, 2009


the best things seem to come when you've stopped looking.
its so good but i'm not invested i'm just taking it slowly. there is no stupid preemptive warning about attachment or stupid shit. no bullshit. only honest thoughts and its amazing how much we agree on. it's almost too perfect but i'm okay with that. i'm not expecting the world i'm just taking it as it comes and it feels so good. and he keeps me on my toes. "full of surprises". every word that has come from his mouth has made me smile or has reassured me. very early, but i'm happy. this is the sort of person i've been waiting for.

he asked me to dinner and to go ice skating. and him and i are going to ikea. good start, if you ask me.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Sigh sigh sigh sigh.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

i just miss you, i miss the you i loved, i miss us together, i miss you and i when we were happy. it just seems so far gone now. i dont know how to miss you because i don't want to miss you.
I wish so badly that things had turned out differently.
You changed so much for me in so many ways.

Monday, December 7, 2009

I really appreciate

your honesty.

I'm glad it was now rather than later.

Friday, December 4, 2009

I don't know if I can handle this. I need someone who wants to fall in love, not someone who barely believes it exists.

Thursday, December 3, 2009


Inglorious Basterds
The train story/song
Hazy skies

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My body is so fucked up right now it worries me a little. I almost fainted yesterday.

And I'm just confused, I'm not sure what I want at all anymore.