Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Things I'd Like To Say But I Won't

Man up.
Fucking face your problems and realize that as much as you can try and talk yourself into this situation being the right thing to do, it isn't. Your heart gives you away.

I'm not asking you to give her up and be with me. Not in the least. But I wish you'd really sit down and be honest with yourself. How long can you live in a lie? How long can you lie to her? How many holes in your stomach will it take for you to realize that you need to find a way to simplify your life?

I hate this. I hate that I cannot for the life of me forget you. I hate that with the tiniest speck of hope I get from you, my heart goes on standby.

I want so much to devote that to someone else. But most people seem lackluster compared to the intuitive relationship you and I have.

I yell at you, things change for maybe a week.
We talk like civil human beings, things change for maybe a week.
I yell at you then we talk like civil human beings, things change for maybe two weeks.
How many times will this cycle go around?

I can't do this on my own. You need to fucking man up and either really cut me out of your life like I'm trying to do with you or maybe take a look at the fact that you can't live without me is a big fucking sign. It's a significant thing if you can't let go of having me in your life. It's a significant thing that it didn't even cross your mind to do so, so I had to be the one to cut things off because it was too hard.

You're so damn masochistic. But this time you're not just hurting yourself.

Can't you see?

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