Confusion

is always swirling around me when it comes to the male species. Nathan is starting to show real interest, but I just don't know. I just don't. My dreams confuse me. The only people I feel really drawn to are out of my reach. 

I feel content in my solitude but yet at times, completely lonely. I just feel like that person is somewhere close... and I feel like I'll know exactly once I get there. Isn't that odd? I'm weird like that.

It still hurts. I don't want it to. More the loneliness, the curiosity that kills me. Will I ever be happy like that again? I miss it desperately. But who can blame me? Being in love is the best feeling in the world. I don't want you, I just want that. I want that with someone new.