Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The past 4 years

I've been swimming in an ocean of nostalgia. As I crawl out onto the beach, the waves lick at my toes and I begin to let my eyes focus on the island around me. This is it - this is it. That's all I can think to myself lately. Packing for Ms. Woods has been almost theraputic for me, its my way of saying goodbye to the theatre and a lot of ways, my high school career.

The past four years have been the hardest, craziest, and best years of my life. And I know that I'm only headed toward more of the same. I can't believe I've been living in San Ramon for over two years now. That my life in Gilroy seems more distant than ever. I fell in love, fell out of it, experienced true heartbreak, watched my mom endure four (?) brain surgeries and make it through them all. I experienced life without someone around all the time to pick up after me, cook my meals, and listen about my day. Became my father's support system. I made good friends, lost some, and discovered who really cared. I fell in love again, but this time with performing - something just clicked and the rest of my life fell into place. I went to New York City, Hume Lake, LA, Ashland, Sacramento, Camp Roberts, Rochester, D.C., and Disneyland.

I learned - I grew. I came to realize how precious life is and never to take a moment for granted. To stop to pluck a daffodil, to making someone's day just by saying hi, to cuddles, to group hugs, to 100% quiz scores. To that rush you get from being in the spotlight, center stage in front of an audience - to the times where you can't stop laughing over the stupidest little thing. To hating teachers but appreciating them anyway, to Cal High bosco sticks, to debates with your peers about things that really matter.

I stopped caring what people think and got to know exactly who I am. I made many mistakes - but learned from each flaw and used it to help me with the future. I sang, I danced, I drank, I smoked, I laughed, I cried, I was unreasonable, I was understanding, I forgave, I forgot, I discovered, I reflected. I lived. I didn't sit on the sidelines, I jumped right into the game. And I don't ever plan on sitting still again.

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