Monday, June 9, 2008

Strawberry swing

They were sitting
They were sitting in the strawberry swing
Every moment was so precious
They were sitting
They were talking in the strawberry swing
Everybody was for fighting
Wouldn't wanna waste a thing
Cold, cold water
Bring me round
Now my feet won't touch the ground
Cold, cold water
What ya say?
It's such It's such a perfect day
It's such a perfect day
I remember
We were walking up to strawberry swing
I can't wait 'til the morning
Wouldn't wanna change a thing
People leaving all the time
Inside a perfectly straight line
Don't you wanna curve away
It's such
It's such a perfect day
It's such a perfect day
Now the sky could be blue
I don't mind
Without you it's a waste of time
I adore this song.

I feel so weird, this week is weird. Signing yearbooks is weird. Especially when I'm signing someone's that I know I'll most likely never see again. Idk, today was good but I had a lot of alone time to get paranoid and freak out. I'm just realizing that all the people I'm surrounding myself with I'm going to have to leave in under 3 months, minus a few. It's thoroughly depressing.
I really like Donnie. And I'm such a stupid girl about stupid things. I feel like I'm getting to that point where I'm really putting myself out there... he knows I like him and he's secured a place in my life for the time being, but I feel like whenever I get to this point where I'm comfortable with a guy, I get nervous sometimes. Because more things are assumed and things become less formal and intense and I just feel vulnerable. It's really a stupid thing but idk. I just feel like a lot of guys have taken advantage of how laid-back I am and end up disappointing me. I was thinking about it on the way home from Andrew's - my soulmate, the man I will marry, won't ever disappoint me. I mean, I'm sure he will..but he'll make up for it. It just makes me nervous because so many guys have done it before, you know? I wish I could just let all that shit go.

You know what? I will. I will make an effort to just let it go. It's not worth wasting my time. I don't want to be that stupid girl with issues because of the way a guy treated me in the past. But then again, its good to be protective of your heart.

I guess its stupid on another level because although I really like Donnie, I'm not sure I'm anywhere near loving him. Not that I was expecting to, I'm just pointing that out. So what am I worrying about? I'm just having fun. I need to let go.
Edit :
Rachel Whiteside just called me for boy advice. She knew I would be one person who understood her and listen and give honest advice without really pushing for details with what was going on. It was really refreshing. She basically told me how she wonders if she just chooses the same types of guys or if it's just her being silly? Idk, we basically talked about everything I wrote and I gave her advice that I need to listen to. Say what you need to say, relax otherwise. I feel so good right nowww. Bed is calling <3

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