There's this couple who are in the piece I've been rehearsing for who are just so cute. And so into each other. And so just, ugh. I want that. I miss that. I misssss it so fucking much. And especially in times where I'm so stressed and all I want is to unwind. All I want is some other outside source of hope to keep me driving through.
Then again, I have it. I have my friends, I have that closeness and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.
But I can't deny missing it. I can't deny that something about this time of year makes me miss it more. I have so many issues, I don't want to settle for anything less than I deserve. I deserve to be happy without the distance, without the priority problems, without the other girls, without feeling used. I know I do. I have so much love to give and I am just bursting waiting for someone to pour it into.
But then I think, what if this guy I seem to be waiting for doesn't exist...?
Andy's coming this weekend and although I'm excited, I don't know. I'm afraid it will be either too good or not good enough and I don't think I can handle either situation right now.
I need you so much closer..