Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Hearts wrapped in blankets, laying low

Your friends hold the lullabies
They watch the way the night lies
Soft sounds, heads like a radio
Hearts wrapped in blankets, laying low
You're cold, maybe you just missed the sun
You fall, feeling like its just begun
So far, keeping it together's been enough
Look up, rain is falling, looks like love

I think I faced a lot of my issues head on for a while, but now I'm beginning to realize I also shut a few out. Now they are creeping back in front of me, mocking me as they trickle into my dreams.

It's so odd to me how far away my relationship with E* seems. I feel as though when I look back on it, it's just this idea I can only look at through a glass case. Almost like watching a TV...the images and tangibility confined to the little box in front of me. I step away and look at myself in the mirror and a wave of realization washes over me. It's really odd how much things can change in such a short amount of time. I feel like a completely different person. My priorities have shifted significantly, and I am finally living my own life without too many cares.

But that void still comes from time to time. I sit and reflect and it's just such an odd feeling. Where something that was once so familar seems so foreign...

On a lighter note, I hung out with C today and had a good time. Things are going well for him finally, and he's actually doing something with his life! Ahah but really, he's doing well and I'm genuinely happy for him. It was nice to catch up and spend time with him, he's a goofball. I'm not sure he will ever be more than that to me, which I think is a good thing.

S comes home tomorrow for spring break and I'm really excited. When we hung out over winter break I was sort of a mess, so it will be nice to actually spend time with him when I'm not having any emotional turmoil. He's a genuine sweetheart and he really cares about me, at least as a friend and that really means a lot to me.

I'm so excited for my weekend with Tess. And Leeanna hopefully is getting her license tomorrow, which hopefully! means I get to see her more often.
I wish I wasn't working so muchhh but I need the money :( And I wish I wasn't so goddamn busy so I could squeeze more time in for the people I want to see!

Blah blah blah ramble ramble ramble writing this helped me feel better. Sleep is calling.

- L <3

* I've decided to start calling boys by the first letter of their name all Gossip Girl like because I'm a loser and it makes me feel cool. Not. I just don't really like naming names incase people get snoopy... yadig?

PS- I'm now a "habitual truant" and probably should tell my mom about the forged notes before the assistant principal does... but that means no more skipping class for the rest of the year. It especially sucks because when I turn 18, I won't get to sign myself out even if I wanted to!

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