One is pretty much stalking me.
One is drunk dialing/texting me insane amounts begging me to come party with him in Santa Clara at 1am.
Donnie is donnie, in his own world and too busy to include anyone (namely me) into it. I'm done with his shit.
Urosh.
I feel completely idiotic saying this, but he makes me stand still. I bounce around like a crazy monkey released from the zoo when I'm single, and even Donnie only just slowed my ricocheting off the walls. With Urosh, I stand completely still. It scares the shit out of me that I want to risk it all for him. It's completely idiotic, and setting myself up for failure etc. etc. , but I've never felt this way before. And I've been in love. I'm not a hardcore believer in long distance relationships anymore, I did that for 2 years and it fell apart anyway. But, there's just something about him. It would probably never work and I'm getting really ahead of myself here, I just want to hear his voice. I just want to see him. I just want to get inside his head and understand. I try getting advise from people but all I hear is I'm moving in a month. And I know that. But I can't leave with these feelings left open. Without knowing.
Its SO stupid too. Why would I want to get into another long distance relationship with a boy I hardly know who happens to be insanely dedicated to his band? Because he's not like Eric in that I see his eyes focus away from his band. He's so much more mature, I mean he's freaking 21. I've talked with him about the issues I had with Eric and his band. He explained to me how he balanced it when he was in a relationship, he gets the balance. Maybe this is just me believing every word he says and being shallow or something. But he has yet to give me a reason not to believe him. Except maybe this whole stunt. I feel ridiculous, insane, and stupid. The reactions I get from my friends are along those lines. But I'm the only one who truly understands how I feel. I hate that I have to go through Nelson to find out stuff about Urosh because he's crazy to a certain extent and keeps trying to convince me that he's better for me and discourage me from Urosh. But I just want things to be fixed with Uroshhhhh. I'm so frustrated. Why are boys so manipulative, confusing, shy, or scared?!!!
Roarsighahhhbsdklfjsdfsksjdf;s
it came apart
it broke up into pieces and
there was a chance and i missed it
It could risked it
and I put myself into your hands
Cause you're not just anyone
You're a ladder to the sun
oh you're not just anyone
You're a ladder to the sun
I can run my courses
Opposing forces
and oh man I just...
If you want me then you can have me
take me, oh baby grab me
Cause if you want me then you can have me
Cause you're not just anyone
You're a ladder to the sun
You're not just anyone
You're a ladder to the sun
oh now boy what you mean i've done
you set a course that you couldn't run
oh now boy what you mean i've done
I had it all and I risked it
I had it all and I risked it all
And I risked it all
And I risked it all
A ladder to the
A Ladder to the sun
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