I wrote this a while ago (about a year ago), I just found it and liked it a lot.
Void. That feeling in the pit of your stomach that something isn’t right, it’s not in place. You’re missing something. You ignore it as best you can and try to fill the hole with things that don’t belong there. A new love prospect that treats you worse than the boy you’re trying to make up for, you do things you wouldn’t normally do. You drink too much, and care too little. You stomp on the others to rise up; you desperately try everything to fill that hole. It’s almost as if you’re trying to plug the leak at the bottom of your boat with just your hands. No matter how hard you try, your ship keeps sinking. Until you hit rock bottom. You went too far – you helped a boy cheat on the love of his life, you got so drunk you were so belligerent you did things you shouldn’t have done. This only deepens your wound, that hole in your heart that you can’t fill. That feeling you can’t shake, that won’t go away. Nothing is right and you can’t figure out why. You’re drowning. You need that lifeboat, that hand to pull you up to the surface so you can breathe. Or do you? Can you save yourself? In time, that wound will heal. That void will diminish. Then all that will be left is scar tissue to remind you of the struggle you went through to be who you are.